Best

I really, really dislike Texas. I'm not sure why except the traffic drives me bonkers.  I have to spend a week or so traveling in the DFW area for work every fall. I spend most of the time sitting at my hotel or sitting in traffic. It isn't fun.  But, there is one thing that will make me travel to Texas at the drop of a hat. And that is my Best. Her and her husband lived in Arkadelphia for a year after we graduated, then moved back to Carrissa's hometown last year.  It's been hard. But our friendship has proved itself. This weekend Eric and I are making the trip to Texas for some much needed Best time with Carrissa and Trey. Excited would be an understatement :) We do not have any super grand plans, but we don't need them.  What I do need is time to share, laugh and maybe even cry. And I can do that anywhere as long as I get to see Best. So weekend, please hurry!

Confession

I'm just not feeling church today. Instead of being at church right now, I'm sitting on the back porch enjoying the birds chirping. I even went to church. Sat through Sunday school (I love our class) and went to the service for a bit. But I found myself dreading the service once I looked at the program. So I left. I know this is bad of me as a believer. Even when I'm not "feeling" church, I need to be there. But lately I've been struggling with not feeling like I worship during our service.
I sing.
I stand.
I sit.
I sing.
I listen.
I stand.
I sit.
I leave.
My heart isn't in the right place. I've always felt I worship God most through his creation. When I sit in peace and actually see His creation, I worship Him. I praise Him for the things He created for us, for me. I praise Him for being so mighty that He could create this for us, for me.
So today-
I sit. I'll sit outside and marvel at His might and beauty.
I sing. I'll sing songs of my love for my Savior while enjoying His creation.
I pray. I'll pray that He restores my heart so that I can truly worship Him.

Broken Family

Eric's parents are divorced. They have been for years (somewhere around 14 or so).  One of our biggest struggles as a couple throughout dating, engagement, and marriage has been how to handle this situation.  His parents did not separate on good terms, nor have they came to good terms since then.  And even though Eric is 23, it is still as if he is the young kid who one parent should have custody of and the other doesn't have legal rights to.  We love both of his parents dearly.  But it seems one parent associates any activity with the other parent as us purposely hurting/attacking/betraying them.  We have tried all sorts of ways to deal with them.  Don't tell them when we see the other parent, do tell them, tell them after fact, all of these result in the same reaction.  A huge fight. A lecture on how Eric is betraying them. blah, blah, blah the list goes on.  
It is draining. 
Draining to us as individuals and to our marriage.  I hate being in this place. This place where we are trying to do right, but are coaxed into feeling bad about our decisions.  This place where we store up old feelings of bitterness.  We have no idea how to make it better. And the situation will never go away.  One day we will have a child. And both of Eric's parents will be a part of that child's life.  So they just have to learn to deal. Or we have to learn to let go and maybe back away from that parent if that it what it takes.  Lord knows we do not want to. The parent that gets the most offended is the one we are the closest to. The one who actually wants something to do with us.  But the other parent is still there. And always will be. And when they ask to be a part of our life (which is rare), or invite us into a part of theirs (also a rare occurrence), we will not turn them away.  This whole ordeal makes me want to move far, far away. Run away from the problems. But that will not solve anything. The trouble is, I don't know if anything can be solved.  And that, that is heartbreaking. Emotions are a funny thing. And sometimes, the ugly ones (hate, fear, anger) can take over any logical thinking and control your life. And when that happens to a friend or family member, you can't make it better. They have to learn to cope and deal. 

Beautiful Weekend

     We had a great weekend.  A dear friend of mine was on campus Saturday for graduation so I met up with her and our other friend, Edith, at Edith's house.  We try to get together from time to time to catch up, but it is crazy how hard it is to get together.  (Seriously. Who knew being an adult was so crazy.) We didn't have too much time together, but it was a fun few hours :)  Sunday, Eric preached at Saddle Creek in Little Rock. (One of his former professors is their interim pastor and asked Eric to fill in for him.  Pretty big honor since Dr. Carter taught Eric Homiletics!) Typically I am a nervous wreck when Eric preaches.  I have normally heard and read his sermon several times by Sunday and I spend the whole morning praying he remembers everything.  This Sunday I asked if I could not do that. I didn't want to know his sermon points. I wanted to just listen.  This is definitely the way to go!  My husband is a great preacher.  His way of preaching is very conversational, like a teaching lesson more than a sermon. I know some people probably do not like this style, but I love it.  My friend who was here for graduation also came to hear Eric preach since she lives in Little Rock.  Her twin sister came as well. It was so great to see them. (They were my college suitemates. Suitemate love!) They recently lost their mother so I was honored they chose to spend part of their Mother's Day with me.  
     After church we went to lunch then headed down to the great Arkansas County.  It's amazing to me how I can love that place so much.  The second I begin to see miles and miles of fields, my soul knows I am home.  I surprised my mom and she was so excited.  We had a great visit. Went for a ride and wound up down at the Post.  When I lived at home, we would go riding every Sunday afternoon.  It was great to do that again yesterday.  (By the way, does anyone else do this? or is it a south Arkansas thing? Either way, I love it).  
     We do not seem to understand how much we miss home until we are leaving.  I honestly hope that we are able to live closer to home some day.  I am the first person in my entire, and I mean entire, family to not live in DeWitt.  Because of this no one seems to understand why I have not moved back yet.  I was the only person to go off to college, and that was a hard concept for them. But they just assumed I'd move back afterwards.  After days like yesterday, I sometimes wonder why we haven't.  

reminiscing

For the past two days I have watched graduation prep outside my office window.  The mowing of the grass, the painting of Cone Bottoms, the setting up of the stage and the beautiful white chairs.  In my job, I talk to students daily about my experience at Ouachita.  When I started, I would talk about freshmen year in terms of "a few years ago", but now I've officially had to move into the actual year talk.  I often forget that I started college 7 years ago, and graduated 3 years ago. When did that happen?  Working with college students has given me the false idea that I am still college age.  But watching the current seniors (hardly any of which I know) sit outside my office during graduation practice is bringing me to terms with the fact that I am growing up.  I have grown up. Basically the only students I know on campus are the ones I have recruited over the past 3 years.  These students graduating were, what, freshmen when I graduated? I have been married for almost 3 years. I will turn 25 in a few months. (hopefully) in a few years I will be a mother.  I have grown up. But a part of me, a small part of me, wishes I was sitting outside right now.  With the excitement of marriage and a new job just around the corner. That was a fun stage of life.  But there are plenty of fun stages of life ahead of me, and I am ready to begin anticipating them instead of reminiscing on those of the past. Look out future- ready or not, here I come.   

Boys Will Be Boys

Three of Eric's groomsmen were college buddies and they happen to make it back to Arkadelphia from time to time for miscellaneous events.  This week was one of those events.  We heard from Ian over the weekend asking if him and his friend could stay at the house. Most definitely. They arrived Monday night and it was such a good visit.  Turns out another friend, Matt, was in town too so he spent a lot of time at the house (as well as a lot of other people).  I think it was really good for Eric.  I'm blessed to work in a job with 7 other people around my age and in the same stage of life. We all get along really well, and a couple of my best friends work in this office.  I get to see my friends everyday and have fun conversations.  Eric doesn't have that opportunity.  He works with some great people, and a couple of them are his age, but they are never in the office at the same time and that sort of thing. Once graduation came most of his friends moved off. So I love weeks/weekends like this when some of his buddies are in town and he can have good, quality time with them -even if my house is left in a complete wreck :) 

Never Run With Scissors

(Warning. If the talk if injuries and blood makes you a little squeamish, you might want to skip a few paragraphs.)

     In my office, we have to work two Saturday's in April. We do not get paid overtime or anything, so instead we get comp time (which I love).  Last Friday, I thought I would take some of that comp time and leave work at noon to get some chores done around the house and fix a nice dinner so Eric and I could settle in for a date night when he got home from work.  While grocery shopping for dinner, I remembered this article I saw on Pinterest that said putting water and vinegar in your microwave for a few minutes can help clean it.  (Confession: I never wipe down our microwave and we do not have a bowl cover contraption, so it is pretty nasty.).  We do not own vinegar so I quickly ran to grab some, not looking at the type of lid but just looking at price.  

     I apparently should have checked out the type of lid on the vinegar.  You know how milk has the pull tab to open the lid?  Our vinegar was the same way. Except when I tried to pull the tab it broke.  So, the next logical step was to see if I could pull it with my teeth (y'all, don't forget I am from Southeast Arkansas.  This might not have been your next logical step, but we do a lot of things differently in DeWitt).  Well, biting it didn't work. So the next logical step was to try and pry scissors under the tab to rip it off.  To do this, I propped my right hand on the top of the bottle to steady it and pushed the scissors under the tab with all my might with my left hand. Well, the scissors slipped and I stabbed myself in the right hand with a pair of (semi dull) scissors.  It took me a second to realize what I just did. I actually hesitated to put pressure on the wound because the only towel nearby was my favorite kitchen towel and I didn't want to ruin it with blood stains. I quickly decided it wasn't that great of a towel and grabbed it to apply pressure while looking for my phone to call Eric.  I was short and to the point with my phone call (which I conducted by speaker phone while hanging over our sink with my hand raised in the air. What a mess I was).  By my call, he thought I had cut my finger off. Oops.  After calling him I plopped down in the floor waiting for him to get home. Once he arrived he stood me up and told me we needed to wash my hand of. What?? Heck no. No way was I looking at it and he was not touching it.  This thought freaked me out so much I looked down at my hand and saw the blood. And then I told Eric "I am about to pass out".  I don't think he believed me. Until two seconds later when I was laying limp over the sink. That will show him.  I passed out again on the trip to the door so he could take me to see if I needed stitches.  Since the stab was so deep (I'll spare the gross details, but we could tell it was at least an inch deep), the doctor didn't want to do stitches.  Apparently deep wounds are almost guaranteed to get infected, and if it is stitched it causes more troubles. So I got a new Tetanus shot and antibiotics and we were on our way.  By the way, Tetanus shots hurt like the dickens.  Who knew??

     The most interesting part of this experience is learning to do things with just one hand.  (Have you ever had to shower with just one hand? Or button/unbutton jeans? Almost impossible.) What did I learn from this experience? That I will never use a pair of scissors again. 

Or at least for a few months.

Oh, and just so you know, Eric was able to open the vinegar bottle that night and we tried the water/vinegar mixture out on the microwave. It worked! Sweet victory.  

A Little of This, A Little of That

     First, our neighbors have quieted down a lot. Thank goodness! Maybe its because we keep calling the cops and they keep getting arrested. Soon there won't be anyone left!  We heard a rumor their landlord told them they had to be out by this Friday. We will see about that.   
     As I have mentioned before, Eric is currently in seminary. He was a junior in college when we got married (I had just graduated) so he has been in school our whole marriage. For some reason, I had this idea in my silly head that I would see him more when he was in graduate school. That idea has blown up in my face this semester.  Silly Katie. I should know by now that any sort of school equals a busy, busy husband.  And I need to just get used to it, because he will most likely move on to doctoral work once he finishes his masters. The higher the degree, the busier I'm assuming.  Yesterday I had a bit of a mental wife breakdown and asked Eric to take the night off and he gladly agreed. We cooked a nice dinner, watched movies, talked, laughed, it was a great night. Once it was time for me to go to bed he had to stay up and work on some material for his classes. I am so glad he sacrificed a little sleep so we could hang out. I miss him.  
     Time to brag on my husband.  He is so, so smart. Really. I couldn't imagine having the passion he has for learning- And that is why he is in graduate school and I am not ;) But for real, almost every professor he has had in the past year has commented on how he is a level above and they cannot wait to see his doctoral work. I'm a proud wife. Maybe a wife who is a little intimidated by the 25+ page paper my husband just wrote and asked me to read that goes WAY over my head, but, I am still a proud wife :)
     We feel pretty strongly about Eric only working part-time while he is in graduate school so he has more time to focus on his studies. But that makes each month a struggle financially.  If we were better stewards with our money, it would still be a struggle but not near as much. We are both just so, so bad with handling money.  We talk about budgets and make budgets, but never stick to them.  Anyone have suggestions on ways that help you better manage your monies?  Thoughts on Dave Ramsey?