worldwide respect

I just turned 25. Which is a big age to me. Something about it feels... different. I feel it is a universal age of respect. So what if I'm a college graduate, employed, and been married for 3 years. I feel like the world doesn't take anything but my age in to effect. And I feel as though 25 is when World says "Katie, you are now a woman." Or at least that's what I thought until I heard an article say that it is now thought that 30 is the worldwide age of adulthood. Shucks.
I do think 25 is going to be good to me. Maybe changes will come in my life, maybe they won't. Maybe in a year I'll be so thankful 25 is gone and 26 is here- (one more year closer to universal respect and maturity). But for now, I'm going to soak in 25 for all it's worth. After all, my birthday and the Olympics fell in the same week. That's got to be a good sign for something, right?
Couple of my favorite birthday gifts? Glad you asked. My parents got me a Chi Hairdryer. This thing is heavenly. (I can dry my hair in under 3 minutes, y'all. And I have a LOT of hair). The in-laws got me a Pandora bracelet. I am in love. Husband got me gorgeous flowers. And I will be using my cash to purchase Direct TV Sunday Ticket so I can watch the Steelers every move... Don't judge.

Soooo

It's been a while. My apologies.  Here are a few updates.  First, I bailed on gluten free. I did it for about 3 weeks and things just got crazy.  I traveled a lot during the month of July and could not figure out how to do gluten free while traveling. I'm about to hit the road for 2 months for work, so I was incredibly overwhelmed.  I plan to try again around January when all of my work travel is over and I would have months to figure it out before I get thrown into a bunch of craziness. We will see.


Secondly, and way more importantly, Eric got a job!!  A full-time job, which happens to start on my Birthday. August 1 will be a great day for many reasons in our household! We are so thankful for this opportunity.  He will be working in the library at Ouachita. If you know my husband, you know this makes him excited as all get out! I am excited for us to finally be on the same schedule. How wonderful will this be! We can ride to work together, eat lunch together, it's going to be great for our relationship, for our finances, and for Eric as he will now feel better about his contributions to our family.  This for sure seals the deal that we will be in Arkadelphia for at least 2 more years.  Now that Eric has a full time job, he will back off on his B.H. Carroll load. He should graduate May 2014 as of now. Then, who knows. But it is nice to finally sort of understand the way our life might be headed. Because we all know the Lord has a crazy way of shacking our plans. But for now, we have a direction. And it is good.

More unknown

Eric had always planned on graduating next May. He pushed through his first year of seminary like a champ taking more classes than anyone would dream of taking in order to graduate "on time" with our grand plan.  All of that was well and great until the seminary broke his thesis class in to two terms so it is impossible for him to graduate next May.  Which is sort of a blessing in disguise. This past year was hard on him and on our marriage, so it is nice that he can slow down his pace and spread it out over two years. 
He has worked part-time this past year in order to have more time to focus on his studies. Now that he is spreading things out, we are looking in to some full-time positions. He really enjoys his job at the church, but he only works 19 hours a week. Now that he has the time to dedicate to a full-time position, it is definitely a better option for us. Now on to the nerve wrecking part of finding jobs to apply for and getting interviews :)

Future?

When Eric graduated last year, moving away for seminary was never even discussed.  We never looked or talked about any other options than B.H. Carroll.  He is now half way through that program so it's time to start doing something. I have never been open to the thought of moving away. I like Arkadelphia, I like my job, I like our friends, and I refuse to live any further away from home.  Well, that was until this week. Something...switched.  We began discussing what his options are after finishing Carroll and I found myself excited. Excited? Did I just say that? (deep breath). Yes, yes I did.  I never thought I would look forward to moving and starting a new adventure. I do not accept change well. Never have.  But maybe that is changing.  I don't think there is any way we could have moved last year when Eric graduated and me still have been okay.  It would have been too much of a change, a shock, for me.  But I feel that I am finally ready. I'm excited for us to research, discuss, and visit new potential homes. I'm excited to continue watching my husband grow into the amazing teacher/pastor/? that he will be.  Wherever God leads him (us), I know Eric will do great things.  And I am so excited. 

Gluten Free For Me

I am probably one of the pickiest eaters you will ever know.  Since college, I have had my first orange, grape, grilled cheese, peanut butter and jelly sandwich, the list goes on.  It's pretty safe to say I survive off meat-mainly chicken, cheese, and bread.  My senior year of college I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia (my mother was convinced I had the Bird Flu upon my trip home from Israel!).  I've never really found much in terms of relief, but I've learned to just deal with it.  I have had a gluten free diet suggested to me by a doctor and several friends, but never felt like I could make the commitment. Its just such a change from what I'm used to. I want a guarantee that this will help before I do this. I don't want to spend 2/4/6 weeks doing this and not feel any better.  But friends, now is the best a time than any so I've buckled down and am trying this thing out.  I'm also not having caffeine. whew! You should just be glad you are not my husband right now, because I am all sorts of grumpy/whiny/tired. And I'm only 6 days in. Lord help us all! 

Does Time Really Fly?

I've had enough conversations with Dr. Wight about time these past few years to know that time doesn't really fly by, but it's a saying I can't seem to kick.  We celebrated our 3 year anniversary Monday.  I've never really been one to have yearly expectations.  I didn't grow up saying "I will be married by __ age, and have kids by __ age, and have ___ career by __ age", but somehow I'm not where I secretly thought I'd be after 3 years of marriage. And I'm pretty okay with that.  We have had struggles these past three years.  Year 1 was so exciting, so full of new adventures and adjustments.  We would both say year 2 was the hardest. All those adjustments of year 1 sort of blew up and we had a lot of family struggles.  But year 3 was pretty awesome.  And to say I'm excited to see what year 4 has in store would be an understatement.  

chocolate

When you work in an office with 8 other people, frustrating days are bound to happen. Personalities will clash. Feelings will be hurt. It's just the nature of the beast.  Especially when you are as close as we are (physically close and close in our relationships). Today is one of those days.  My co-workers often give me a hard time because I stockpile chocolate.  I will buy chocolate, then let it sit in my desk for days, weeks, months.  And I will want chocolate during that time, but I will never eat what I have in my desk because I say I know a bad day is always lurking around the corner and I will NEED chocolate (girls, you understand), and I won't have any.  Friends, today is a great example of why I stockpile.  Bring on the chocolate!

Summertime

There is something about summer that makes me a calmer person.  The week students leave campus, I become a new person. I'm not sure why seeing as I do not work with the students on campus. But something about an empty campus makes me wash my cares away.  Or at least my work stress. 

That being said, I already feel like my summer is gone.  Between work retreats and weddings, the month of July basically doesn't exist.  Then it's August, and travel season is lurking right around the corner. So June will be my summer. And I'm determined to make it good.  Our 3 year anniversary is next Monday.  While we are trying to actually stick to a budget for the first time, I couldn't accept not doing anything for our anniversary. So I just splurged and booked a night at this cute Bed and Breakfast in Hot Springs (Hilltop Manor) I'm excited.  Maybe we shouldn't be spending the money on it, but we are in desperate need for a getaway so it will be totally worth it. 
Also since I've slacked on blogging recently, we spent the weekend in Texas with my Best and best-in-law, Carrissa and Trey. It was SO much fun.  Eric and I met Carrissa and Trey in college and have been best friends since the beginning.  They stayed in Arkadelphia for about a year after we all graduated, and then moved to Texas last January.  It has been a hard year, but we still find time for our friendship.  The weekend was much too short, and I may or may not have spent a lot of it crying because we would have to leave..., but it was still great to see them.  We spent part of Saturday at the aquarium.  And let's just say, aquarium's only get better with age. I just THOUGHT I loved it when I was 5.  I was is heaven. 

Best

I really, really dislike Texas. I'm not sure why except the traffic drives me bonkers.  I have to spend a week or so traveling in the DFW area for work every fall. I spend most of the time sitting at my hotel or sitting in traffic. It isn't fun.  But, there is one thing that will make me travel to Texas at the drop of a hat. And that is my Best. Her and her husband lived in Arkadelphia for a year after we graduated, then moved back to Carrissa's hometown last year.  It's been hard. But our friendship has proved itself. This weekend Eric and I are making the trip to Texas for some much needed Best time with Carrissa and Trey. Excited would be an understatement :) We do not have any super grand plans, but we don't need them.  What I do need is time to share, laugh and maybe even cry. And I can do that anywhere as long as I get to see Best. So weekend, please hurry!

Confession

I'm just not feeling church today. Instead of being at church right now, I'm sitting on the back porch enjoying the birds chirping. I even went to church. Sat through Sunday school (I love our class) and went to the service for a bit. But I found myself dreading the service once I looked at the program. So I left. I know this is bad of me as a believer. Even when I'm not "feeling" church, I need to be there. But lately I've been struggling with not feeling like I worship during our service.
I sing.
I stand.
I sit.
I sing.
I listen.
I stand.
I sit.
I leave.
My heart isn't in the right place. I've always felt I worship God most through his creation. When I sit in peace and actually see His creation, I worship Him. I praise Him for the things He created for us, for me. I praise Him for being so mighty that He could create this for us, for me.
So today-
I sit. I'll sit outside and marvel at His might and beauty.
I sing. I'll sing songs of my love for my Savior while enjoying His creation.
I pray. I'll pray that He restores my heart so that I can truly worship Him.

Broken Family

Eric's parents are divorced. They have been for years (somewhere around 14 or so).  One of our biggest struggles as a couple throughout dating, engagement, and marriage has been how to handle this situation.  His parents did not separate on good terms, nor have they came to good terms since then.  And even though Eric is 23, it is still as if he is the young kid who one parent should have custody of and the other doesn't have legal rights to.  We love both of his parents dearly.  But it seems one parent associates any activity with the other parent as us purposely hurting/attacking/betraying them.  We have tried all sorts of ways to deal with them.  Don't tell them when we see the other parent, do tell them, tell them after fact, all of these result in the same reaction.  A huge fight. A lecture on how Eric is betraying them. blah, blah, blah the list goes on.  
It is draining. 
Draining to us as individuals and to our marriage.  I hate being in this place. This place where we are trying to do right, but are coaxed into feeling bad about our decisions.  This place where we store up old feelings of bitterness.  We have no idea how to make it better. And the situation will never go away.  One day we will have a child. And both of Eric's parents will be a part of that child's life.  So they just have to learn to deal. Or we have to learn to let go and maybe back away from that parent if that it what it takes.  Lord knows we do not want to. The parent that gets the most offended is the one we are the closest to. The one who actually wants something to do with us.  But the other parent is still there. And always will be. And when they ask to be a part of our life (which is rare), or invite us into a part of theirs (also a rare occurrence), we will not turn them away.  This whole ordeal makes me want to move far, far away. Run away from the problems. But that will not solve anything. The trouble is, I don't know if anything can be solved.  And that, that is heartbreaking. Emotions are a funny thing. And sometimes, the ugly ones (hate, fear, anger) can take over any logical thinking and control your life. And when that happens to a friend or family member, you can't make it better. They have to learn to cope and deal. 

Beautiful Weekend

     We had a great weekend.  A dear friend of mine was on campus Saturday for graduation so I met up with her and our other friend, Edith, at Edith's house.  We try to get together from time to time to catch up, but it is crazy how hard it is to get together.  (Seriously. Who knew being an adult was so crazy.) We didn't have too much time together, but it was a fun few hours :)  Sunday, Eric preached at Saddle Creek in Little Rock. (One of his former professors is their interim pastor and asked Eric to fill in for him.  Pretty big honor since Dr. Carter taught Eric Homiletics!) Typically I am a nervous wreck when Eric preaches.  I have normally heard and read his sermon several times by Sunday and I spend the whole morning praying he remembers everything.  This Sunday I asked if I could not do that. I didn't want to know his sermon points. I wanted to just listen.  This is definitely the way to go!  My husband is a great preacher.  His way of preaching is very conversational, like a teaching lesson more than a sermon. I know some people probably do not like this style, but I love it.  My friend who was here for graduation also came to hear Eric preach since she lives in Little Rock.  Her twin sister came as well. It was so great to see them. (They were my college suitemates. Suitemate love!) They recently lost their mother so I was honored they chose to spend part of their Mother's Day with me.  
     After church we went to lunch then headed down to the great Arkansas County.  It's amazing to me how I can love that place so much.  The second I begin to see miles and miles of fields, my soul knows I am home.  I surprised my mom and she was so excited.  We had a great visit. Went for a ride and wound up down at the Post.  When I lived at home, we would go riding every Sunday afternoon.  It was great to do that again yesterday.  (By the way, does anyone else do this? or is it a south Arkansas thing? Either way, I love it).  
     We do not seem to understand how much we miss home until we are leaving.  I honestly hope that we are able to live closer to home some day.  I am the first person in my entire, and I mean entire, family to not live in DeWitt.  Because of this no one seems to understand why I have not moved back yet.  I was the only person to go off to college, and that was a hard concept for them. But they just assumed I'd move back afterwards.  After days like yesterday, I sometimes wonder why we haven't.  

reminiscing

For the past two days I have watched graduation prep outside my office window.  The mowing of the grass, the painting of Cone Bottoms, the setting up of the stage and the beautiful white chairs.  In my job, I talk to students daily about my experience at Ouachita.  When I started, I would talk about freshmen year in terms of "a few years ago", but now I've officially had to move into the actual year talk.  I often forget that I started college 7 years ago, and graduated 3 years ago. When did that happen?  Working with college students has given me the false idea that I am still college age.  But watching the current seniors (hardly any of which I know) sit outside my office during graduation practice is bringing me to terms with the fact that I am growing up.  I have grown up. Basically the only students I know on campus are the ones I have recruited over the past 3 years.  These students graduating were, what, freshmen when I graduated? I have been married for almost 3 years. I will turn 25 in a few months. (hopefully) in a few years I will be a mother.  I have grown up. But a part of me, a small part of me, wishes I was sitting outside right now.  With the excitement of marriage and a new job just around the corner. That was a fun stage of life.  But there are plenty of fun stages of life ahead of me, and I am ready to begin anticipating them instead of reminiscing on those of the past. Look out future- ready or not, here I come.   

Boys Will Be Boys

Three of Eric's groomsmen were college buddies and they happen to make it back to Arkadelphia from time to time for miscellaneous events.  This week was one of those events.  We heard from Ian over the weekend asking if him and his friend could stay at the house. Most definitely. They arrived Monday night and it was such a good visit.  Turns out another friend, Matt, was in town too so he spent a lot of time at the house (as well as a lot of other people).  I think it was really good for Eric.  I'm blessed to work in a job with 7 other people around my age and in the same stage of life. We all get along really well, and a couple of my best friends work in this office.  I get to see my friends everyday and have fun conversations.  Eric doesn't have that opportunity.  He works with some great people, and a couple of them are his age, but they are never in the office at the same time and that sort of thing. Once graduation came most of his friends moved off. So I love weeks/weekends like this when some of his buddies are in town and he can have good, quality time with them -even if my house is left in a complete wreck :) 

Never Run With Scissors

(Warning. If the talk if injuries and blood makes you a little squeamish, you might want to skip a few paragraphs.)

     In my office, we have to work two Saturday's in April. We do not get paid overtime or anything, so instead we get comp time (which I love).  Last Friday, I thought I would take some of that comp time and leave work at noon to get some chores done around the house and fix a nice dinner so Eric and I could settle in for a date night when he got home from work.  While grocery shopping for dinner, I remembered this article I saw on Pinterest that said putting water and vinegar in your microwave for a few minutes can help clean it.  (Confession: I never wipe down our microwave and we do not have a bowl cover contraption, so it is pretty nasty.).  We do not own vinegar so I quickly ran to grab some, not looking at the type of lid but just looking at price.  

     I apparently should have checked out the type of lid on the vinegar.  You know how milk has the pull tab to open the lid?  Our vinegar was the same way. Except when I tried to pull the tab it broke.  So, the next logical step was to see if I could pull it with my teeth (y'all, don't forget I am from Southeast Arkansas.  This might not have been your next logical step, but we do a lot of things differently in DeWitt).  Well, biting it didn't work. So the next logical step was to try and pry scissors under the tab to rip it off.  To do this, I propped my right hand on the top of the bottle to steady it and pushed the scissors under the tab with all my might with my left hand. Well, the scissors slipped and I stabbed myself in the right hand with a pair of (semi dull) scissors.  It took me a second to realize what I just did. I actually hesitated to put pressure on the wound because the only towel nearby was my favorite kitchen towel and I didn't want to ruin it with blood stains. I quickly decided it wasn't that great of a towel and grabbed it to apply pressure while looking for my phone to call Eric.  I was short and to the point with my phone call (which I conducted by speaker phone while hanging over our sink with my hand raised in the air. What a mess I was).  By my call, he thought I had cut my finger off. Oops.  After calling him I plopped down in the floor waiting for him to get home. Once he arrived he stood me up and told me we needed to wash my hand of. What?? Heck no. No way was I looking at it and he was not touching it.  This thought freaked me out so much I looked down at my hand and saw the blood. And then I told Eric "I am about to pass out".  I don't think he believed me. Until two seconds later when I was laying limp over the sink. That will show him.  I passed out again on the trip to the door so he could take me to see if I needed stitches.  Since the stab was so deep (I'll spare the gross details, but we could tell it was at least an inch deep), the doctor didn't want to do stitches.  Apparently deep wounds are almost guaranteed to get infected, and if it is stitched it causes more troubles. So I got a new Tetanus shot and antibiotics and we were on our way.  By the way, Tetanus shots hurt like the dickens.  Who knew??

     The most interesting part of this experience is learning to do things with just one hand.  (Have you ever had to shower with just one hand? Or button/unbutton jeans? Almost impossible.) What did I learn from this experience? That I will never use a pair of scissors again. 

Or at least for a few months.

Oh, and just so you know, Eric was able to open the vinegar bottle that night and we tried the water/vinegar mixture out on the microwave. It worked! Sweet victory.  

A Little of This, A Little of That

     First, our neighbors have quieted down a lot. Thank goodness! Maybe its because we keep calling the cops and they keep getting arrested. Soon there won't be anyone left!  We heard a rumor their landlord told them they had to be out by this Friday. We will see about that.   
     As I have mentioned before, Eric is currently in seminary. He was a junior in college when we got married (I had just graduated) so he has been in school our whole marriage. For some reason, I had this idea in my silly head that I would see him more when he was in graduate school. That idea has blown up in my face this semester.  Silly Katie. I should know by now that any sort of school equals a busy, busy husband.  And I need to just get used to it, because he will most likely move on to doctoral work once he finishes his masters. The higher the degree, the busier I'm assuming.  Yesterday I had a bit of a mental wife breakdown and asked Eric to take the night off and he gladly agreed. We cooked a nice dinner, watched movies, talked, laughed, it was a great night. Once it was time for me to go to bed he had to stay up and work on some material for his classes. I am so glad he sacrificed a little sleep so we could hang out. I miss him.  
     Time to brag on my husband.  He is so, so smart. Really. I couldn't imagine having the passion he has for learning- And that is why he is in graduate school and I am not ;) But for real, almost every professor he has had in the past year has commented on how he is a level above and they cannot wait to see his doctoral work. I'm a proud wife. Maybe a wife who is a little intimidated by the 25+ page paper my husband just wrote and asked me to read that goes WAY over my head, but, I am still a proud wife :)
     We feel pretty strongly about Eric only working part-time while he is in graduate school so he has more time to focus on his studies. But that makes each month a struggle financially.  If we were better stewards with our money, it would still be a struggle but not near as much. We are both just so, so bad with handling money.  We talk about budgets and make budgets, but never stick to them.  Anyone have suggestions on ways that help you better manage your monies?  Thoughts on Dave Ramsey?

The Neighborhood...

Okay. When we moved in our cute, adorable, old, beautiful house we knew it wasn't in the best of best neighborhoods, but it was on a little street right off down town so nothing too crazy.  And it wasn't too crazy for the past 2 years. But my, oh my, has that changed.  There are several rental properties around our house, then an older lady and Larry.  Now let me introduce you to Larry.  First off, Larry is a great neighbor. We appreciate him so much. But that being said, Larry is an interesting character.  We often refer to Larry as "The Bee Man" because he makes and sells honey.  But Larry also spends 80% of his time sitting on his front porch in his camouflage watching the neighborhood. I kid you not.  Morning, day, and night, he mans his station. So though we did not move into the best of the best of neighborhoods, we have always felt safe with Larry on duty.  Larry lives two houses down from us and one of the rental proprieties in our neighborhood is between our houses.  A lady moved in recently, and her group of friends moved into the rental properties across the street. And they have been non-stop drama. Dumb.  They are SO loud.  The lady next door was evicted from her old apartment and didn't get to take any of her furniture with her, so they spend the majority of their time in the yard and on their porch so they have somewhere to sit. (Don't ask me how they have a TV I can see in their living room from the road but not a couch. Priorities, people.) She also has 3-5 kids. The number is still unclear.  We had been waiting for major drama to go down. And Monday it finally came. Her fellow was arrested, they yelled and talked about guns and shooting each other, the cops came back to her house twice, and we hid in our house and watched it all through our blinds.  Small town living, right?  The cops have been back twice since Monday. And yesterday they covered their whole porch with black trash bags so you could not see them (which was fine by me.) Except for the strange smells coming from their apartment.  Can you say sketchy?  Larry spent a good 2 hours at our house yesterday filling us in on the neighborhood gossip.  After all we learned, I am more than ready for these new neighbors of ours to hit the road and never come back. Hopefully they will be gone soon. I'm ready for a good nights rest that doesn't include falling to sleep to the bass from their music.  Annoying.

Update

A few days ago I posted about some things that had us very anxious. It turns out everything is a-okay, whew :) Last Sunday, I was in severe pain. Eric actually thought my appendix was rupturing, but I was being stubborn and just stayed home and roughed it out (I am my fathers daughter!). Come Tuesday, the strong pain was long gone but a constant pain was staying in my right lower abdomen so I went to the doctor. Turns out she agreed with Eric and sent me to the hospital for a CT scan of my appendix. Turns out my appendix was fine, but it appeared my Fallopian Tube was extremely inflamed and she wanted me to see my OBGYN to get an ultrasound. She suggested an egg might be "stuck", whatever that meant. Of course, this brought about all sorts of fears for us as I think it would in any young couple. My appointment wasn't until Monday (as in yesterday) so we had about 6 days to wait after my scans. I continued to be in extreme pain, and on top of that I had to work on Saturday. It was a stressful week! After our appointment yesterday we learned that last Sunday the pain I had was from a cyst rupturing on my right ovary. (Eric was so close with the appendix idea!). There was a lot of fluid still in my ovary and it has caused my Fallopian Tube to be highly inflamed, hence all this crazy pain. He sent me on my way with a steroid shot and lots of meds. I should feel better in 3 or so days, thank goodness! I do have 2 more cyst on my ovary but we aren't doing anything about those for the time being.
This past week has really brought Eric and I together closer as a couple. We didn't figure it was anything too bad, but you always have that fear. Eric was so great to me. Helping me around the house and reassuring me of his love. Eric and I have always had a passion for adoption (Eric is adopted if you didn't know) and I think even having the slightest of fears something could be wrong with me made us evaluate out family expectations even more. Lately I have been SO focused on having a baby. So much that I've probably became pretty selfish. I needed this time of questioning to open my heart to my true passions and convictions. Though we definitely still want to experience pregnancy and childbirth, my heart is finding that longing for adoption again. And I am loving it.


Tomorrow I'm going to try and post about our crazy neighbors. And by crazy, I mean CRAZY y'all. IEric and I have became the neighborhood crime watch party, so crazies be warned!

Anxious

I hate for this to be a "something is going on but I can't tell you" post, but here it is.  This week has been a really hard, confusing week for us.  We will know answers (hopefully) come next week, but until then my brain is not good company.  Any prayers for peace of mind and comfort would be greatly appreciated.  :)

It's Been Awhile...

We are still here. Promise.  I'm having a hard time committing to blogging. Probably because I do not feel like there is anything in our life worth blogging about. But here are some random thoughts.
Eric is in the final stretch of this term of grad school. I'm ready for it to be over since he is gone every Tuesday night for class in Little Rock.  When he worked at Game Stop he was gone at least 4 nights of the week. I learned to adjust to him being gone and enjoy being alone.  But that was a long time ago.  Now I do not know how I can survive every Tuesday night without being bored out of my mind!
My newest dilemma is to vacation or not to vacation this summer.  We really do not have the money for it. So I know the answer should be to not.  But golly do I long for a week away! I take vacation days here and there for work, but I have never really taken a week off. That sounds glorious. Plus, come June 1 I will have 3 weeks of paid vacation (thanks Ouachita!).  It's basically impossible to take a week long vacation from Mid July to November with my job. No, actually it is impossible.  So that doesn't leave much time to get 3 weeks in, does it? So maybe we should take a vacation in June, yes? Yes. :) Maybe.
I've been struggling with our family a lot in these past few weeks.  It is crazy to me how everyone can be such polar opposites! We love them all, and they are great to us. But sometimes it is just hard to understand their true intentions.
Bailey has gained a lot of weight. I feel like it came out of no where. Poor pup. I tried to tell myself she was still growing when we got her. But I've came to terms that she has just gained weight since she was 2 when she came to our home.  Oh how I love to fight the truth some times :)
Last year my MIL and Step Grandma-In-Law (confusing, right?) came to visit in April and helped us make our garden absolutely beautiful.  With my horrible gardening skills and the stinking heat of the summer, everything looked awful come the end of summer. I was convinced I had killed everything to the point of no return. But alas, last week tulips and roses began blooming. Here's to hoping I have more success this year!

Weekend Recap

This weekend I officially came to terms with the fact that I am indeed growing up.  Friday my niece had her first ever lock-in birthday party.  Eric has midterms this week (his seminary has 8 week terms), so I made the trip alone. I was able to get off work a little early and I made it just in time for the party to start. It wasn't until Friday that I realized she was turning ten.  10. wait, what?  She was born when I was in the 9th grade. Surely that wasn't 10 years ago, right? Wrong.  I've spent the past 3 days trying to swallow that pill. (It's still stuck in my throat, by the way).  Also, last night we randomly had dinner with a couple from church (ahh, that community I love so much!). During one of the conversations, I started a sentence with "Once, when I was in college..." Wait, what? I think the fact that I work with high school seniors on a daily basis and work on a college campus has created this false idea in my head that I am still a care-free college student. Wrong.  Wasn't my last post just about the pains of adulthood?  It's time I let both of these worlds collide and create a true reality for myself.  That reality is that this year I will turn 25.  I have been out of college for 3 years.  I have been married for 3 years (almost). And sooner rather than later, I will hopefully be a mother.  None of those things go well with my imaginary view of myself. So buck up Katie, it's time to face reality!

During my quick 24 hour trip home, I was able to see a lot of people I typically do not see. It was definitely a good visit for my heart.  And maybe a little bad. There is something about driving through farm land that makes me oh so happy. And something about watching it disappear in my rear-view mirror that makes me oh so sad.  When I got back Saturday, Eric had a lot of school work he needed to work on. But by this point he was definitely over it. Way, way over it. So instead of suffering miserable for another 6 hours, we spontaneously went to Hot Springs for dinner, then came back home for a competitive game of Mario Party (I won).  The night was much needed.  This semester has been draining for him, and in return on us sometimes. It's always nice to have a fun night together and for the time being forget all the stress that typically surrounds us.  

I went grocery shopping yesterday and only spent $24. Victory! I also did 7 loads of laundry yesterday. Geez, how does it pill up like that?? I attempted to work in my garden, but that lasted a full 15 minutes before I was bored.  Someday I hope to enjoy gardening, but that day just isn't today.  It's really too bad though, because last Spring we fixed up our flower bed to look gorg.eous. Too bad I have managed to kill most of those bright colored beauties. Maybe when my dream world matches up to my reality and I'm a stay at home mom, I'll also become an excellent cook and a master gardener.  One can dream, right? Right.

The Scary, the Exciting, and the Stressful

The scary:
Eric is having some deeper issues with his Diabetes. He is actually being considered as a Type 3 Diabetic, though that isn't an "official" type as of yet.  This is where his body does not produce insulin, but it is developing resistance to his artificial insulin he receives through his pump.  The medication for this is a doozy.  His stomach hurts constantly from it, but hopefully it will get better with time.  We have been trying to make changes for a better lifestyle recently, but this sort of gave us the extra encouragement we needed to truly stick to our plan.


The exciting:
We went through a situation recently with a friend that opened my eyes to a lot of things.  Things I already knew, but honestly didn't think about all that often.  Those things? The fact that we are children of a merciful, loving, caring Father.  Often we do not deserve the grace and blessings He gives us. But He gives it anyways.  He created us to be in community with other believers. This was something I truly never experienced until I moved to Arkadelphia.  Sure, I went to Sunday School and Wednesday night youth meetings, but in those I never truly found community.  We have been involved in community groups in both of the churches we have attended while here.  And those groups are so, so good for my heart. To truly have community with others is a great feeling! To pray for each other, to see when those prayers are answered and when they are not, to go through the highs and lows of life together, to laugh together.  That is what God intended for His children. I am so excited to see this community keep growing and relationships continue to be formed and strengthened.


Eric was just hired on at a church in Longview, Texas to write their small group material (again, community. It's a great thing!).  Before anyone frets, my family specifically, he is doing this from Arkadelphia. No move in the too near future.  Eric is really excited about this. He loves to talk about theology.  Sometimes I feel sorry for him, he longs to have deep theological conversations and very rarely am I up to speed with him.  With this job, he will get to write these things down and share them with a church for them to use weekly. To say that he is excited about this opportunity would be an understatement.


The stressful:
Work has been a killer for me here lately. I'm not sure why. Or how to change it.  Don't get me wrong, I still love what I do. I love working with students. I love seeing their excitement about college and what the Lord will do in their lives.  I love Ouachita.  I love what we teach and the community (key word today, huh?) that is built.    I love the concept of my job. Meeting students, telling them about Ouachita, watching them fall in love with this place that has shaped me.  It really is a great job.  But the more I look to the future, the more confused I become.


Growing up, my mom was a stay at home mom. And I loved every single second of that. She took a part time job when I was in high school, but only after my family discussed it and agreed it would be a great thing for us. And my mom would still be able to attend all of my important events.  When I am a mother, I want that.  Who knows if we will ever be in a position for that to be a possibility.  But it's what I truly want.  With my job now, I travel a lot. I live out of a suitcase in the fall. I work some nights and weekends. When I become a mom, I do not want this.  Maybe this is why work has been hard for me lately. Actually, I think it is exactly why.  The more I daydream about starting a family, the more of a struggle my job becomes. I don't know what this means. Maybe I'm being dramatic. Maybe I'm creating fears. I know I am creating stress.  Ultimately, I have to be employed full time while Eric is in Seminary.  And that's that.  I just talked about how we have a Father who provides.  I need to stop stressing and worrying and rely on Him to open doors or give me the strength to see that I can do what I love and be a mother.

Our Day of Love

Valentine's Day is referred to as the Day of Love. And for us, it truly is.  Four years ago today Eric took me out on our first date. I never expected that one date to become my forever, but oh how thankful I am that it did.    It is crazy to think that we have spent four years together. And I know as each new year is added to the count, it will continue to feel this way. But for now, I am going to mini freak out about four years. We have been through so much- good and bad, happy and sad. The journey it took to become husband and wife was a challenge alone. But countless blessings have came from that challenge.  Relationships have been strengthened and personally, I grew a lot as an individual, as a woman, as a wife.  The transition in every step of our relationship has taught me so much about love, compassion, and compromise.  


Eric took me on our first date, and he never had to fear me rejecting a second date. I knew then that there was something special about this man.  Call me crazy, but three weeks later when I first told Eric I loved him, I knew he would be my husband.  Our love began at Belle Arti over a fancy, expensive dinner that I hardly ate because I was too picky.  Nine months later, I stood in the same place and promised to be his forever.